she laughs at their rationalization.

at work.... im not sure how people perceive me. i number 1: try to stay OUT of everyone elses business, in restaurants there is so much drama that goes on with the staff that it is absolutely ridiculous. and i could really care less to be honest. i try to tune everything out, if i listened to half the conversations that went on around me i am for sure that it would have an effect on my stress levels not to mention well being, and i dont need to ask for any more of that than necessary. ive noticed that with the kitchen i have developed the reputation of the quiet girl, i think the majority of them like me well enough and they are always telling me i need to get louder. they know that if they ask me anything i will generally have a conversation with them, but i dont usually have much to talk to them about. the rest of the servers, im not real sure about, well at least a few of them anyway. im not very good at reading the opinions on their faces. especially since a couple of the appearingly roughest people there are probably the ones i would trust the most.
i like to think that they think of me as mysterious. ha. im trying to work on not letting things just run past me. well, let me explain that. i know i dont have a lot in common with the people i work with. i dont go out and party all the time, or participate in much else that fills their lives that we will just leave unmentioned. i -think- they know this. but i think they just assume im a stay at home kind of person. or at least thats what the one guy thought when he asked me when i was going to let him take me out and i practically laughed in his face. we are in no single way compatible and even a blind person would be able to sense that. so im trying to work on when im in a conversation and the group is talking about stuff i dont approve of, working up the ability to make them realize that i dont agree with any of it. its reallly hard to do this. its almost like asking for trouble. becuase then they realize you arent one of them. but its time to stand up for what i believe and not just let them assume i agree iwht them without telling them one way or another.
oh yes, while on the topic of work, i had the most interesting thing happen to me last week... i went out to my car and low and behold there were baked potatoes surrounding the back of my car. my most often clueless self didnt pay much attention even though i opened the trunk to get my purse. went on home. then the next morning on my way to church i noticed it. someone had thrown several baked potatoes at my trunk! it scared me at first. and i pondered over it all day. finally i decided it was either a mistake, which couldnt be easy because my car is the only one with wv tags, or someone was kidding around with me, or someone hated me. i just cant think of anyone whom i have given reason to even be mad at me, i try to keep peace with everyone. so i decided i didnt want to make abig deal about it, and i only told one manager and asked him if i should be worried. he freaked out, and told me that if it happen again or i thought i knew who did it to let them know, and walked me to my car that night. nothing has happen since, am im not too worried about it, but im parking near the front now just in case.

[this is going to be a long post... i have some unexpected energy, not sure whats up with that]

so im doing an independent research study this semester. which has been very nerve wracking i will definitly admit. it involves a lot of research, developing an experiment, getting people to participate in the experiment, writing a paper, analyzing data, and presenting it for the class. well, thats the gist of it anyway. so im at the point where i am analyzing the data. my study was: surveying possible differences in levels of attention to detail between art and non art majors. my hypothesis being that the art majors would remember more details than the non art. so my participants got to watch an episode of pinky and the brain [ my favorite cartoon] and answer some questions about it. there actually is a significant difference in the two groups. that said...my professor approached me in another class today and told me she was taking a group to atlanta to a conferece [i was expecting her to ask me if i wanted to go because my advisor had previoiusly mentioned to me that it would be a good experience to go listen] well... she wanted me to go, but she wanted me to take my project! she was like what does that sound like to you? i said.... that sounds like somehting i would NOT want to do. she knows my inhibitions about being the center of attention to even a group of people and how much i struggle with it, so she explained to me that it wasnt the big deal i was making it out to be and asked me to consider it. she actually said to me that i had 'ownership' over my project, that no one had done that topic before and that i had done a good job on it. i was absolutely floored. and honored that she would pick me out to go. they are only taking a van full so there must not be many going. although im going to have to pray a lot about keeping my nerves calm... i went ahead and asked for the day off today at work. i still cant believe she asked me to go.

i actually got saturday and sunday off from work this weekend, which is really odd, well - i had asked off but then told them i could work it, so im surprised they scheduled me off anyway. so, to im going to try to take advantage of it. hopefully the kids [drew, bailey, and ali] will get to come over on saturday night. i thought it would be fun [actually... a lot of fun] to have them over for a sleepover. cook dinner and have a game night, maybe see a movie. take them to North Anderson on sunday morning. and then back home. plus, i have a friend that is married with a baby so it could be fun to have them over. im getting excited about it just even writing about it. i absolutely love those kids. if you are around them much you will know exactly what i mean. and this is significant, because im actually not a fan of most children. which i found cut out in stone after my experience as an after school counselor for the Y. i dont think that i want kids [im not seeing it at the moment for my future anyway, dont start with me thats just how i feel] but these kids are so amazing they make a person that doesnt want kids want to have kids. they are just that cool. oh not to mention... theres this new movie out... meet the robinsons... ithink, yheah really want to see that. they can be my excuse right? wait, i dont need an excuse. lol.
if you cant tell, im looking forward to having them come hang out with me.

since my computer was out of serives, i had been listening to a lot of the radion, without going on a tangent about how much it made me irritated with a lot of music.... well, i will just go ahead and tell you. one song after another [ i only listen to country on the radio] there seemed to be a sequence of songs that played again and again and again, it seemed like it was a toby keith war song, a sappy martina mcbride song, then something like where were you when the world stopped turning, then oh lets throw in 'one wing in the fire'. this really got on my nerves. i dont care for toby keith's songs related to the war and all the God bless America hooplah. actually, it bothers me. because we arent the only nation on the earth and the world doesnt revolve just for us and we arent any better than any other country, no matter how much more technology we have. the sappy martina songs... okay i like those, but in serious moderation. not played in sequence with these others, and over and over again. [okay so maybe they threw in 'i hope you dance' now and then too ...ugh.] and then the alan jackson. i love alan jackson. but that song doesnt do it for me. for the previously mentioned reasons. im sorry, im not trying to belittle what happen on 9/11, because it was a horrible thing, but the world didnt stop turning. and then that last song.... its in a whole other category that just agitates me. and theres my spill on the radios preference for playing country music. although i do love country music, which may come as a shock to some [karrie does to believe it or not, i think it baffles her family...although, she likes the toby songs i think... which is one of those practically infinite subjects we differ slightly on] anyway, thats a long introduction to this being my favorite new country song: [that ive heard on the radio anyway]

I was sittin' there sellin' turnips on a flatbed truck
Crunchin' on a pork rind when she pulled up
She had to be thinkin' "This is where the rednecks come from"
She had Hollywood written on her license plate
She was lost and lookin' for the interstate
Needin' directions and I was the man for the job

[Chorus]
I told her way up yonder past the caution light
There's a little country store with an old Coke sign
You gotta stop in and ask Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea
Then a left will take you to the interstate
But a right will bring you right back here to me

I was sittin' there thinkin' 'bout her pretty face
Kickin' myself for not catchin' her name
I threw my hat and thought, "You fool, that coulda been love"
I knew my old Ford couldn't run her down
She probably didn't like me anyhow
So I watched her disappear into a cloud of dust.

[Chorus]
I told her way up yonder past the caution light
There's a little country store with an old Coke sign
You gotta stop in and ask Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea
Then a left will take you to the interstate
But a right will bring you right back here to me

Is this Georgia heat playin' tricks on me
Or am I really seein' what I think I see
The woman of my dreams comin' back to me

She went way up yonder past the caution light
Don't know why, but somethin' felt right
When she stopped in and asked Miss Bell for some of her sweet tea
Mama gave her a big 'ol glass and sent her right back here to me
Thank God for good directions and turnip greens.

Billy Currington: Good Directions