shes thrilled for salads that are chick pea happy.

i have developed a serious love for chick peas. im practically convinced that they were a small gift from God. they are trying to sneak their way into my lfe on a very regular basis. no better way than when combined with feta and leafy greens.... yum.
it definately started hailing here today, its probably over with by now, but when i went outside earlier sure enough it was. very tiny and turned to water practically instantly, but it was there. im having a hard time adjusting to this weather the past couple of weeks. i mean, last week classes were cancelled for sleet, just yesterday it was t shirt and sandal weather (so you know i jumped at the opportunity to wear sandals) and now its cold again. craziness, plain and simple.

i found out though that the weather sure doesnt effect my ability to get out of bed in the mornings for class. i was doing sooo well about getting up decently early, and then it got cold and i started slipping. i would wake up and be shivering if not at least from the knees down from the window at the foot of my bed, cocoon myself in covers and make it extremely difficult for me to coax myself into the cold. at least thats what i was blaming my late sleeping on. until the sun decided to show back up and im still struggling. actually, i just dont even wake up now. i made a solid decision last night to fix the problem because not getting up early enough to shower when i was a freshman didnt bother me as much as it does now. it makes it too easy to rationalize going back to bed after class. not to mention you feel crummy and dont want anyone to look at you for the entire hour, or hr 15 min take your pick. plus i read an article somewhere[... dont ask where, b/c it may have been while i was waiting in line to pay for my groceries and i wont admit it to your face] that the idea that showering makes you feel better in the mornings isnt just in your head. apparently the hot water releases feel good endorphins. so what time did the pep talk with myself inspire me to get up this morning you might ask?.... i think theres a competition im running with myself and i broke it this morning... exactly twelve minutes before class mi amigo.

BUT i did manage to get myself to the recylcing center today. for which my car is probably thanking me. i loaded my car sometime early/mid week and the center decided to close early that day [or i just dont know what time they close and am choosing to blame them instead] so two boxes full of random jugs/bottles/boxes have been just hanging out in my back seat. i LOVE going there, i get to play this game with myself where i imagine all the clutter stressing up my life in those boxes too, right before i chuck them in the bins. its quite satisfying. plus you get to feel like you are accomplishing something. a little something, but hey they add up. so, no matter how many bumper stickers karrie wants to buy me trying to tell me that i am a treehugger, [haha..] i will still admit i love it. even if there is some sort of self serving purpose involved.

speaking of Karrie, its funny how sometimes we just need a friend to point out the obvious to us. i was rambling to her some frustration that was bothering me the other night and as our conversation was about to end she mentioned, you know why dont you just have some God time and read your Bible. i bet your homework will even go easier afterward. that was like a duh moment for me. but im so glad she brought it to my attention because i decided to randomly read the first book of Peter. [its only five chapters, dont get impressed] what stood out to me?
[5:6-11] "Therefor humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of soper spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever, Amen."
i think all too often i get too caught up in stressful situations that seem to be piling hirer and hirer, and i forget that someone else has already been there and done that. that God cares. that the devil is intentionally trying to make you fall. and that you just gotta buckle up and push through it, because its not going past God unseen, and you just gotta ask for help. i dont see why i keep convincing myself that i would rather worry over something than just pray about it. its pretty simple, but i bet in a few hours when its practically rush hour at work i will find myself in need of reminding yet again.

And today I'll trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me, crying out for consistency

And you said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear,
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

And I'll let it be known (at times I have shown)
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me, there is strength

And you promised me (that you believe)
in time I will defeat this
'Cause somewhere in me, there is strength

And today I'll trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
that that man isn't me

And you said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear,
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

And you said "I know that this will hurt (I know this will hurt)
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse. (things will get much worse)
When the burden seems too much to bear, (seems too much to bear)
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you, for you

And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart
and made it light
[relient k: let it all out]