she asks the question

who wouldn't want fried plantains and a cup of coffee for breakfast... i mean.. brunchish.
except that i just learned that diana and gillian are bringing back sushi from publix for lunch and i am definitely not known for passing up a sushi opportunity.

so ive had a few things on my mind that with the scheduling of my classes for next year and various other things, have decided to pop back up into my interest. but ive got a lot of thinking and a lot of praying and a year to figure out anything for sure.

i know ...a few things for sure [or for as sure as i can be] about myself:

~ after three years of struggling with a career path i am more than okay with pursuing occupational therapy. i feel like its very flexible, and fun, people involving, and very practical while still being interesting. you know how a lot of jobs that seem to have high practicality lack a little bit of that little something? okay maybe its just me and my daydreams. well, occupational therapy seems very practical [both in a sense of job security as well as more importantly for me: a way of helping others, ie: helping someone figure out how to cook themselves breakfast with the loss of an arm as opposed to... okay i dont want to go pointing fingers so no analogy] and it still [again at least for me] holds this fascinating aspect of having a common goal to work towad while being so fluid in the means to get there. and they can practically work anywhere with any population of people.

~another thing i am in the process of accepting about myself is that i get anxious with my surroundings. maybe thats not the right way to put it. i want to travel. i dont want to settle down anytime soon. also.... i want to do this n.o.w. go anywhere, do anything, just be open to opportunities.

i want both of these things. and i realize that pursuing grad school right after anderson is probably the more logical decision... but i dont think im satisfied with it. the thought of moving to oregon almost does it for me, and dont get me wrong i still have my sights set on portland... eventually. lately ive been thinking a lot about how i feel like my life is so planned for me right now, and i dont have much of a hand of control in it. like someone just handed me a sheet of printer paper with the instructions just do it and get it done written across it in blunt permanent marker, that is attached to a seven year planner of the years 2004-2011 which has been filled in with that same permanent black marker. okay so im getting at the fact that i feel like my life has been scheduled out. and i dont think that sits well with me. its not very flexible. dont get me wrong, i still want these things, but i dont think i want to take that same route.

keeping in mind that i have been thinking about this over and over and trying to figure out how i can get it to work for the past several... whatever many months, a few circumstances came to my attention recently which have made me only struggle harder with this possible choice.
~one being the fact that im going to peru in may. thats definitely going to be an eye opener and i cant wait to see whats waiting there and get involved in it. i think there are only three girls going this year so im also excited to be able to get to know both of them even better.
~this guy whose blog i read, travels constantly. he just went to uganda. i dont know much about the trip other than he went to hang out at this orphanage and take pictures of these kids (with polaroids that he left for them) he is very inspiring. his link is on the side of the page (longbrake)
~just since i came back from spring break i met a friend of one of the girl's im going to live with next year (jerusha) her name is hannah. and shes from germany. she was hanging out at our house while jerusha was in class and i invited her out for a walk. i learned that she was an exchange student to jerusha's house in high school and this past september she left her home to go to new zealand and australia, backpacking, staying in hostels, just traveling. when they were running low on money they (herself and a friend) worked picking fruit for a couple months. she left there to come to the us for a month before returning home. she alone inspired me greatly. because i got to hear first hand what it was like to travel like that.
~and of course there is jerusha herself, she spent much of childhood in the dominican and her sister still lives there. actually i think she is moving back after she graduates, or thinking about it rather.


all of these things have been bearing on my mind/entire being recently. and last night/this morning i spent proabably a lot longer amount of time than i am willing to admit on the peace corps website. reading stories, listening to stories, looking at the countries, and the job opportunities. plus i even found some information that its possible that for peace corps members upon coming back home to get reduced tuition for graduate school. hello! is it just me or does it sound like that is calling my name? from what i understand they train you here, send you somewhere suitable to your skills, pay for your tickets and give you a living allowance based on the area, then you earn vacation time to come back home, but other than that you are there two years, then they give you $6000 to transition back to the us when you are finished.
so last night i took the first step in emailing the closest recruiter, which happen to be in atlanta. and now i am awaiting anxiously a return email in my inbox. no one is aloud to freak out yet, i only emailed him to get more information and see what my chances are of being accepted (ive heard they are a bit strict) and see what i can do to increase my chances. then if i fill out an application it takes 9months to a year for the whole process to take place and for me to step on a plane. which would be perfect in my mind if i could leave mid to late summer next year.
who knows... im just waiting a return email now.

it makes complete sense to me now though. it seems like such an appropriate option. i would be taking a break from school, but i would definitly be doing something productive for others, worth my while and not to mention very life enriching before i take the next step with school. im ready for something like that to happen to me. or rather, im ready to accept that i desire for something like that to happen to me.


Brushfire fairytales
Itsy bitsy diamond wells
Big fat hurricanes
Yellow bellied given names
Well shortcuts can slow you down
And in the end we're bound
To rebound off of we

Well dust off your thinking caps
Solar powered plastic plants
Pretty pictures of things we ate
We are only what we hate
But in the long run we have found
Silent films are full of sound
Inaudibly free

Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that

Inaudible melodies
Serve narrational strategies
Unobtrusive tones
Help to notice nothing but the zone
Of visual relevancy
Frame-lines tell me what to see
Chopping like an axe and

Maybe Eisenstein should just relax

Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that

Well Plato's cave is full of freaks
Demanding refunds for the things they've seen
I wish they could believe
In all the things that never made the screen
And just slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that
Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast
Frames can't catch you when
You're moving like that
Moving Too....
Jack Johnson: Inaudible Memories