she smiles at her handwriting usually

Summing up Life in Unsymmetrical Eyebrows

Staring deeply in to the bathroom sink mirror
A reflection of my life summed up in unsymmetrical eyebrows is all thats available to stare back.

My Life.
One moment I understand
The very next I don't remember
Only to find that I don't care

Later to become faced with burden over being apathetic.

Tinged with guilt. Restlessness. Searching.

Either a short lived epiphany will make itself available
or fear will have fed reluctance and I find myself
fallen back into a pre-packaged and labeled routine.

Where the process inevitably turns itself over to cycle
a modified repeat... again.

Staring deeply in to the bathroom sink mirror
A reflection of my life summed up in unsymmetrical eyebrows is again all thats available to stare back.

And I find all there is left... is to smile back.

she has a few stories

because it has been oh so long

and first i would just like you to know that i passed up the opportunity to stop in not only thrift stores but also a bead shop that is quite frankly NEVER open anymore. well, they are, apparently, but on a whim and conveniently never when i am around. on my way to the local jittery joes coffee shop now known as e-city java. but i think everyone still refers to it as jittery joes. which leads me to my second point, no matter how cool they can make the coffee shop on campus, it doesnt quite beat out the authentic coffee shop feel on a downtown main street. even if that street is awkwardly equipped with fish sculptures i am just now starting to understand.

lets see... so many things have happen i just dont know where to begin. i suppose it began when i dropped physics class. i am pretty certain that this is when my life began again. yeah, definitely. life is so much happier. maybe i will end up taking it in the long run.. but hopefully it will involve a better experience.
in its place i picked up an ACCEL course (adult program consisting of night classes). the course name sounded interesting but i quickly learned that its basically an informative history course on social work to give background for future classes. i was a little disappointed at first.. but you know its just not that bad. because the professor teaching it isnt a professor day in and day out. he has a job outside teaching. and he is a counselor for an agency here in Anderson. this adds an interesting twist to the course. here we have an adult night class that is from the start very relaxed, and we get what i think of as the privelage to hear about a case study every night. hearing from someone about the serious work that they do day in and day out adds a lot of interest. so much so that my interest in social work reestablished itself even after my first professor kicked it to the curb. its also definitely a reality check. hearing such heart wrenching stories makes you wonder if you really are experiencing the reality of life or if you are just caught up in a bubble filled with naivety.

This thought combined with the smell of ground coffee and feel of an old cushion in a scratched chair along with recent conversations with a friend concerning the necessity of life experienced and felt; only make the idea that life needs the smallest moments that touch our senses to be beautiful, and to be real.

this may seem vague. but it makes all the sense in the world to me.

Recently... my birthday happen. I will not get into how this made me feel other than the mix of realizing i was turning 22 with registering for my last semester and Anderson really messed up my attitude. and confused me.

4 things that made my birthday special:
(in no particular order because they are all very equal contributors to my birthday happiness)

* I received a text message from an unfamiliar number... telling me FELIZ CUMPLEANOS! a big hug! and god bless you my friend. ... from peru!!! my lovely friend Fiorella sent me text message. lol, this may seem silly but i had forgotten that we even exchanged phone numbers, perhaps because i never dreamed of talking on the phone to her since we are in different countries.
* Next I received a card from my friend Jo, this made my heart so happy, because it was so unexpected. I love this sneaky sneaky business of asking friends what your address is.
* And, at the care group I have been going to (bible studyish gathering focused on community extension for college ageish individuals branch off the church i have been going to) gave me a card!! this also made my heart oh so excited, once again because it was so unexpected. i love it.
* And, I had to work on my birthday. well, maybe had isnt quite the right way to put it. but i dont get to work much as it is so i couldnt really take the day off especially when i didnt really have plans in place of it anyway. and... my dear friends karrie and rachel surprised me at work.... with a cake! the best part is that we were so slow i got to sit down and eat birthday cake with them. I was so excited. i wasnt expecting to eat birthday cake. you take for granted your mama and grandma that made cakes for you on all your birthdays until you move seven hours away from home.

okay, last (ish) story. a couple of nights ago i left my night class intent on going to the grocery store to purchase items to go along with the chick peas that i was certain i had at home which would make an astonishingly yummy pasta salad. so i stop by the store, spend money on pasta, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, feta cheese, italian dressing... make my way home start up the boiling of the pasta... and look in the cupboard only to see.... NO garbanzo beans!!!! this saddened me greatly. in fact i spoke to the cabinet claiming so. i went ahead with the process of making the salad, and went out to purchase a can of chick peas the very next morning. and yes, the salad was very very good. if i do say so myself. and well, it just so happens that i do.

our time now is drawing to a close.. but i will leave you with some pictures from a fun saturday morning that karrie and i spent mostly going from place to place but having some spectacular time at some waterfalls. it was good to get some karrie time in. i miss her in between those times, and i think i may get a little grumpy too.