a little banana a little pumpkin

today i realized something. when my planner fills up with tests and projects and deadlines. my eyes start to become sleep deprived. my entire being anxious from the constancy of waking up to remember that i forgot something that i will later wish i had spent more time on, and family starts expressing future doom if i don't pick up the phone in their direction, there is one thing that comes back to the surface.

i bake.
well, first i visit grocery stores, its like its my favorite past time or something. like when you are first getting to know someone and you are passing back and forth activities of enjoyment to see if you are compatible and thus should continue into friendship "this kind of music and these kind of movies" usually i throw badminton out there waiting to see what kind of response i will get so as to que me on how to approach the rest of the conversation. its usually a safe test line. either they are shocked and pretend they share in your excitement, or they are shocked and ridicule you for it. but as i think about it more and more... browsing grocery store isles and the fulfillment of baking or cooking with specially picked over items later, is really becoming an obsession.

side story: my mom can really attest to my love for this activity. as when i take visits home... i think she likes to mention kroger just to watch me get excited. i love to go in kroger. usually they are ridiculously over-priced. but i love it. especially when you live back in the woods in the wild and wonderful state. they usually knows whats up about fun food items. mom doesnt like to take me to the store when shes just gotten off from a day at work and wants to duck in and out just to grab a couple things. because she knows that grabbing a couple of things turns into and hours worth of browsing for me. im pretty sure the soft spot in my heart for this subject can be no less serious than a teenagers love of mall perusing, or of the elderly's fascination with birds.


i love love to cook. one of the greatest things about not living in a dorm is that i get to have a kitchen. i love to try out recipes. usually when i find something that i really like i will eat it for a month. i did that last year with this thai tofu veggie noodle stuff. im pretty sure my room mates got tired of my pores reeking of garlic. (although if they would have gotten close enough they would have been pleasantly surprised by a hint of lime) this year its more of a theme of black beans / chick peas / feta / cilantro. i frickin love cilantro. and sandwiches. hummus concoctions. i tried avocado grilled cheese recently. brie and bleu grilled cheese.

it makes me super happy to be able to make this food and share it with others too. over the summer we would have friends over after church on sundays for lunch. that was so much fun. i think my favorite day was the time we grilled pizzas. barefoot contessa style. and, ironically enough, the dough i got up even earlier to make totally crashed and and friend and i dashed to the store to get already made dough. where we stumbled upon the amazing idea of making our pizzas on flour tortillas!! that was a really great time.

i know that God gave me this passion for a reason. and i know i cant see my future (and my ideas about my future change daily) but i would nearly be willing to say it will definitely have something somehow to do with cooking. it (usually) makes other people happy. calms me down. and makes me content. i just pray that i dont turn it into a selfish habit.

so tonight i have spent sitting on our couch, crocheting (another serious favorite activity) on some leg warmers while waiting on some bread to finish baking.