she loves that towel.

and brushing her teeth.

i wonder how many random things we think of throughout our day that we dont even realize. or how many small movements or habits we tend to without acknowledging them with our memory. or maybe rather i should say i really wonder how many i could account for each day. or furthermore, how many thoughts.... thoughts we disregard for one reason or another, not being impiortant enough for us to think significant, or just such a reflex that we overlook them. kind of like saying hi and how are you doing to a friend that you meet. its a reflex. and often times it just comes out of our mouthes before we have even thought about it or really realized the depth of the question we just asked someone that based on our relationship with them will answer accordingly. most likely they will just shrug off the question with a 'good and how are you?' just like we answer the questions ourselves. but i wonder... i wonder what would happen if we stopped asking habitually formed questions out of convenience, as well as answering just the same, and started asking questions or greeting others intentionally.

intentionally. thats a pretty strong word. webster defines intent as "firmly fixed or directed upon a object, earnest" to me, in this context, i see it as something sought after, something with a purpose behind it. hm, thats an interesting thought. to think about being in conversation with someone whom is intent on you in that moment, that behind their words lie purpose, that how has your day been doesnt just mean a quick grab at conversation to them but something more, and you have the feeling that their sincerity attached to their investigation is somewhat able to bring you a peace, a small step toward peace, but nonetheless a step. because someone is sitting on the edge of their seat waiting to hear what is going on in your life and whether or not your current life situation is being good to you or threatening. and knowing that they want to encourage you or stimulate you to your personal greatest in whatever form it comes, and that they want to do this, as though they feed off of it, because they love you for your individual person, and they dont judge you, because its not about hearing what they want to hear its about hearing the truth and letting you express it, and doing this without expecting the same indulgence in return.

wow, i want to invite that person over for dinner.

but seriously, it would be pretty amazing to see someone in the middle of the day and while in conversation with them you feel like they woke up that day with the purpose of speaking to you. wouldnt it?

post script: that wasnt meant to get so intense. seriously, i started out just wondering why i was randomly in love with this specific towel. haha... yeah, as crazy as that sounds. because while i am in the bathroom brushing my teeth i think of some really random stuff, (that gets forgotten as i leave the doorway) which apparently only stems to even more really random stuff.

i am always in wonder about why i cant love myself less and love others more, and leave judgement in the closet. or the basement, i think thats a better place for it. lets leave judgement in our big scary basement.



Thou lovely source of true delight whom I unseen adore
Unveil Thy beauties to my sight that I might love Thee more
Oh that I might love Thee more

Thy glory o'er creation shines yet in Thy sacred word
I read in fairer brighter lines my bleeding, dying Lord
Oh my bleeding, dying Lord

'Tis here whene'er my comforts droop and sin and sorrows rise
Thy love with cheering beams of hope my fainting heart supplies
My fainting heart's supplied

And ah too soon the pleasing scene is clouded over with pain
My gloomy fears rise dark between and I again complain
Oh and I again complain

Jesus my Lord, my life, my light, oh come with blissful ray
Break radiant through the shades of night and chase my fears away
Won't you chase my fears away

Then shall my soul with rapture trace the wonders of Thy love
But the full glories of Thy face are only known above
They are only known above
Jars of Clay: Thou Lovely Source of True Delight